Pursuit of Happiness

The alchemy of laughter

Superficial laughter drains us. Authentic, genuine laughter gives us resilience

Much of humour and laughter, according to psychologists, stems from discomfort. Anxiety and discomfort are great starting points for humour — we often laugh in response to emotional discomfort. But laughter is of two kinds. The first is the inauthentic kind of laughter that eventually increases discomfort. The second is the more authentic laughter that decreases discomfort and brings joy.

This is an important distinction because externally, both appear the same — it is difficult to deduce inner experience from the volume of laughter: a superficial mirthless laugh can be louder than a real, heartfelt laugh. For example, the loud hearty laughter that rings out in social situations, especially where people are still getting acquainted, is the laughter of anxiety and discomfort.

Some people employ a superficial sense of humour to deal with their problems — in other words, their laughter is a barrier against pain. But this is an inauthentic laugh, ineffective in helping reduce stress and anguish. Rather than rejuvenating the person, this laughter depletes and drains them.

A real sense of humour is not a barrier, it is alchemy. Humour can transmute a situation that causes anguish into one that makes you laugh. And this is a deep laughter that can only come from awareness of the stark truths about life in a way that reveals the strangeness of the universe.

The joke is existence. The punchline is the absurdity of life, the peculiar situation of being mortal and aware in a limitless universe. This laughter comes from the heart and nourishes the soul.

I have the blasphemous thought that one line in the wonderful serenity prayer could read better. Instead of it reading, ‘Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change,’ it should be: 'Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, and the ability to genuinely laugh about it'.