Vandana & Cyrill Shroff

Vandana and Cyril Shroff went through a conventional Indian arranged marriage. As a result, there was no real courtship, barring the long romantic conversations over the telephone since both lived in different cities. That has now blossomed into marriage, two children and working together very closely as well. Cyril says that they both share the same desk at work. If that sounds a little odd, it works remarkably well for this couple, which today runs India’s largest law firm. In their minds, it is a situation where one complements the skill of the other. For instance, Cyril is effusive about Vandana’s intuitive ability, while she is clear that her husband is extremely patient. Their firm’s history goes back to 1917, when it was set up by Cyril’s grandfather. Given the background, discussions on their professions take place without a difficulty. It is what they wake up to and what takes a good part of their day as well. Vandana hastens to add that this comes on the back of a sound relationship, which comes with dollops of love and affection as well. 

Throughout the conversation, Vandana talks more freely, while her husband is more sage-like and avuncular. Cyril smiles often and is articulate when asked the right question. Today, their firm has earned an enviable reputation in corporate India — there is almost never a merger and acquisition deal that the firm is not involved in. Success sits lightly on their shoulders and they speak about it in a tone that is modest and matter-of-fact. They are known for putting in long working hours and that only get stretched when the transaction is complex or intricate. For now, life is a lot about being — and working — with each other.

Where did the two of you meet?

Cyril: Our parents knew each other.

Vandana: It was an arranged marriage, though we got to know each other for eight weeks. In that sense, it was an eight-week courtship. We got married in May 1985. In fact, both our children have had arranged marriages as well.

How did you keep in touch during the courtship?

Vandana: It was not easy since I was in Hyderabad and Cyril was in Mumbai.

Cyril: I used to book a trunk call when I wanted to speak to her. It was a courtship over the telephone.

Vandana: Yes and his father was not amused when he saw the telephone bill! (laughs)

Did you have to propose formally, given that it was meant to be an arranged marriage?

Vandana:Oh, I had to really get it out of him!

Cyril: It was easy since it was a telephonic proposal.

What really drew you to each other?

Vandana: I think it was the similarities when it came to things like perfection and ambition.

Cyril: That is absolutely right. Besides, I am also a believer in destiny.

How different are the two of you?

Cyril: Vandana is an extrovert and I am more of an introvert.

Vandana: He remains that way even today. Cyril is one for the need-to-talk basis.

In what way are the two of you similar?

Vandana: We both really love our work.

Cyril: Besides, we also converge on our views and perceptions about people.

How do you celebrate birthdays and anniversaries?

Vandana: Just with the two of us having dinner together.

Cyril: Yes, and there is no specific location.

What do you gift each other on special days?

Vandana: I have passed that stage. Life is not like that for me.

Cyril: (just smiles in agreement)

Who is the tougher parent?

Vandana: Cyril indulges both my kids, especially my daughter.

Cyril: I think she is the tougher parent in the case of both our children.

Is there romance in the marriage even today?

Vandana: Of course! To me, romance is about inter-dependence. And there is a lot of that even today.

Cyril: I think it only gets deeper and deeper with time and work.

What does your spouse mean to you?

My best friend (in unison).

Who is the boss at work?

It is really hard to tell (in unison).

Vandana: The domestic issues and holiday decisions are by consensus.

Cyril: That is correct and that has been our approach.

Vandana: At work, if we adopt the boss or ego approach, one is destined to fail.

What has one brought into the other’s life?

Vandana: He has brought in confidence.

Cyril:Vandana has given me confidence and a sense of purposefulness.

The biggest moment in your married life?

Vandana: Rishabh (their son) getting married.

Cyril: It was the wedding of our daughter, Paridhi.

What do you like the most about your spouse?

Vandana: I love his sense of humour.

Cyril: I like her intuitive nature.

How do you normally spend your vacations?

Vandana: We have our own fun and that could mean watching movies or plays.

Cyril: Absolutely. It’s not just about our work, though we really love that part.

Vandana: In December, we take time out for two weeks and go to our home in Mahabaleshwar.

Cyril: We spend time with family and close friends. When the kids were younger, we would go overseas.

What is it that you disagree upon the most?

Vandana: There is no question of getting hung up on any small issue.

Cyril: Yes, we do not like the idea of a logjam.

Vandana: Maybe it’s over choice of movies since my choice is often Hindi movies.

Cyril: I like the broader universe of films.

Is food an area of disagreement?

Cyril: I am quite easy to deal with when it comes
to food.

Vandana: Yes and I am not one for sweets or spicy food. We are basically vegetarians, given our Jain background.

What have you learnt from each other?

Vandana: For me, I have learnt a lot about concentration and focus from Cyril.

Cyril: She is extremely intuitive and has taught me to keep things simple.

Who is the boss in the kitchen?

Vandana:No men are allowed in my kitchen.

Cyril: There is no such expectation either!

What is the recipe for success to keep the relationship going?

Cyril: One must always attempt to understand the other person.

Vandana: A lot of space must be given to one another. Like Cyril said, a constant understanding is very necessary.

What is it that you wanted your spouse to change but they haven’t yet done?

Cyril: She is quite stubborn, depending on the issue.

Vandana:I was going to say the same about him! Cyril is also very stubborn.

What is the quality that you admire the most about your spouse?

Vandana:Cyril is incredibly patient with everyone, except the kids and me. I do not suffer fools gladly.

Cyril: That is quite right!